Monday, October 1, 2012

Confusion

Definitely one of those moments.

Don't know what to do , what to say , or even what am I thinking. I never want to screw things up. Through out my life , I have always try to be the simplest person I can be. I never wanted the most expensive shoes or watches , nor the prettiest girl friend in town. I stay away from night club or bar , despite all the temptation created by friends around me.

I love my life , most of the time. Of course if I am given a wish , I would like to have endless amount of money , and give it all to my mum. That way , my ears will not have to suffer all her nagging and complaints ever again.

I love reading , more than talking to people. I find people boring. Not sure if they really are , or I am surrounding myself with the wrong type of people. I can't really have conversation more than 10 minutes , without boredom running through my veins. Some people cope with it. Even they feel boring talking to somebody , they will still put on a smiley face , and nod like they understand each and every word coming out of his/her mouth.

I simply couldn't do that. I just can't. What's the point of going to karaoke , singing in a big black box with lyrics running on the tv? What's the point of having beer with some friends that I find stupid and shallow? I would rather read , or sweat in the basketball court.

I love music , and I love playing the guitar. But I'm far too poor to even change the broken high E string of both my classical and acoustic guitar. Everytime when I am strumming the guitar , the missing sound of the high E string reminds me of how miserable my life really is.

I swear to god I would never want to live a life like this ever again. I wanna have enough money to live my simple life. Eat all the food I want to eat , have my guitar string fixed , buy a pair of comfortable basketball shoes , get myself a moving car , and have a decent place to live.

Relationship is fucked up. I hate those moments when two people never understand what truly matters to each other. Instead , they are so self-centered that everything they say start with the letter 'I'. What about me? What about you? What about us?

Perhaps they are long gone. It's just we are too slow to realize about it.

I don't see the point of life , as time goes by. I carry out the same routine every single day , every single week , every single month. Life is more like a 'punch card system' , rather than a spontaneous journey.

The person you once trusted , and loved the most , blocked you on facebook. I had that feeling once. And now twice. Maybe after all , it's my problem. I should really ask myself what the hell is going on with me.

I've came across a tv commercial lately. It's about this sucessful Taiwanese author/entrepreneur , sharing his view on both relationship and management.

Here his quote , in chinese.

"有谈过恋爱的人都应该知道,如果两个人的关系出现了问题,选择用"捉"的方式去解决的话,这个问题永远都不会获得解答。管理也是一样,如果员工出错,我们只一味地强调惩罚的话,那这种错误也会层出不穷地出现。恋爱或管理都好,问题出现了,可能是因为两方对未来的理念不一致。与其选择强迫另一方接受,倒不如重新寻找理念一致的伙伴。"

Again , not sure if the quote is really meaningful , or it just pop up at the right time.

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